Most of you know that my mom and dad got divorced when I was very young. I saw my dad a few times in the years that followed but I did not see him after I was twelve. I grew up hating him and his ability to disown me when I wished that I too could disown him. It took until my early twenties to stop hating him and then I just tried to move on and forget him. By my thirties I had processed my dad into a category of non-existence, and that was working for me until I got married and then quickly pregnant. When my son was born I suddenly realized that something miraculous had happened to me and my life could never be the same again. I saw with new eyes the role God has in mind for all the men that become fathers, a role for them alone, and I became curious about the man that had helped to create me.
So, it wasn't like an overnight process of finding my dad at that point. I waited a few more years until I had a son and a daughter, and another baby on the way before I ever thought again about finding my dad. The curiosity grew and I prayed about what direction I should go. A few weeks later I was watching late night news when a story about a man that was building houses for humanity at a school south of here came on. I was intrigued and watched the whole story about a man dedicating his gift to others, and at the end of that show I sat in amazement as I read his name at the bottom of the screen, Ken Pierson.
A few internet searches and a call to my mom later and the mystery was solved. I had in my possession a phone number and an address. I decided to write one of the most generic letters of my life, it went something like this: Dear Sir, I think you might be my dad. Do you have a daughter and son named E and G? Were you married to a woman named T? If so I believe you could be my dad. If you would like to contact me please do so at the following address or e-mail.
It took about a week before I got the e-mail and so started the process of renewing my relationship with my dad. I will tell you that he was not the man on t.v. far from it, but he is my dad.
The most amazing thing about this whole process has been watching how Grace works in action. In my second e-mail to my dad I told him that I forgave him for all of the past, and that if we were to have a relationship that it would be from this point forward. I have now seen my dad reunited with my mom and brother and it is nothing short of amazing. I have been able to totally let go of the past and realize a future with a very important man in my life. Today I sit here absolutely full because a part of my heart that was left so barren has been filled by the love of my dad. There is something so critically important to a daughters heart to hear from her dad that he loves her and cherishes her. My dad does. He has faltered and has made some really poor decisions but he too has been given a gift that he knows he doesn't deserve, and that is me. All wrapped up in a package, forgiveness prevails and completeness ensues.
I want to challenge everyone of you to take out the trash. Find those unresolved parts of you and with God's help go about healing them. Offer forgiveness to others, not because they deserve it, but precisely because you do. This is my life and I am honored to share it with you.
